


Jump Zero

by Spaceprincealenko



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Colonist (Mass Effect), Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, The rape tag does not apply to their relationship, this is also not a love triangle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:36:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25288438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spaceprincealenko/pseuds/Spaceprincealenko
Summary: What if Kaidan and Shepard had met on Jump Zero all those years ago?
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So yeah basically what it sounds like. No rahna hate was had in the making of this story. In fact she hardly shows up so no need to worry about an unnecessary love triangle. I hate those.

Something about Kaidan was familiar to Lily, she couldn't put her finger on it and due to the fact they had never served together before so it didn't make much sense and she just brushed it off. While she didn't recognize Kaidan, he differently recognized Lily. She was the quiet girl at brain camp, the one who had lost her family just before being hauled in. The girl that made that place bearable, they were joined at the hip until it shut down and they were separated. It hurt but he didn't blame her for forgetting him, after what happened of course.

When Kaidan first saw her she was underweight and pale as if she hadn't been eating properly. She had a scar below her lip and on her eyebrow accompanied by short black hair that looked like it had been literally chopped off. Her head was hung low and he could've sworn he saw tears streaming down her cheeks. The other kids didn't shun her, quite the opposite they were worried about her, himself included. 

She didn't talk much or make eye contact with anyone but she didn't push people away either she was surprisingly friendly despite her body language. The Lily he knew on jump zero was completely different from the one he saw now. Her hair was much longer and pulled back and she interacted outside of what was required as XO it was nice to see that she overcame what had happened to her but that was years ago so it wasn't a surprise he had overcome his problems too by now.  
\-----------------  
There weren't that many kids there as it was hard to track down exposures but the ones they did manage to get were now crammed into an auditorium of sorts, being sorted out bunk assignments and explaining why they were here in the first place, the latter Kaidan found totally unnecessary "And next we have Lily Shepard and Kaidan Alenko, you'll be bunk mates so try and get along." 

They both grabbed their things and followed one of the staff members out, he was an older man who explained the policies with as much excitement as the kids felt.

"Well here you are, any questions?" They both shook their heads and he left them alone in the room.

Kaidan looked at Lily who was clutching her back pack to her chest and trembling. Kaidan wasn't exactly sure what to say "So uh do you want the top or bottom bunk? I don't really have a preference."

She was silent for a bit and Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck feeling awkward "The bottom…" She whispered.

He looked at her "Huh?"

"The bottom bunk, I'm too clumsy for a ladder." She said still barely above a whisper but he was able to hear her.

He chuckled at her joke "Top for me it is." He placed his bag on top and turned to her before getting comfortable "Oh, and we don't have to talk or be friends if you don't want to co-ed roommates can be awkward all around."

She lifted her head and he finally got a look at those beautiful almond shaped brown eyes "No I….I want to be friends."

Kaidan smiled at her "Sounds good to me." He turned away and climbed the short ladder to his bed and she lied down on hers setting her backpack beside it. The bag was practically empty but it's not like she had many belongings left. She rolled over on her side and closed her eyes letting sleep wash over her.  
\------------  
In the middle of the night Kaidan was woken up to the sound of crying and thrashing around. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, quickly realizing where those sounds were coming from, he quickly descended the ladder, and from what he heard Lily was quite obviously having a nightmare "No...let me go...please it hurts." She seemed to be struggling against someone and he didn't even want to begin to guess what had happened even though he already had some idea.

Now he wasn't exactly sure what to do in this situation, grabbing her certainly was the way to go, he slowly reached his hand out and stroked her cheek wiping some tears away in the process. Miraculously it seemed to calm her down "Dad…" he frowned at that, whatever had happened cost Lily her parents. She slowly blinked awake and looked over at him "Kaidan."

"Hey." He wanted to ask if she was okay but he knew that was a dumb question "You were having a pretty bad nightmare, I wanted to check on you." 

"You gonna pump me full of sedatives too?" Giving Kaidan a little taste of what it was like at whatever hospital or orphanage they had shoved her in.

"Not at all, but I am here for you." He stood up "Let me get you some water." 

But before he could get far she grabbed him "No don't go!" He turned around, clearly surprised by her sudden outburst "Stay with me...please." she was practically begging him and he couldn't help but obey. He got back on his knees next to her and placed his hand on her cheek, this time she held on to it.

"Of course, whatever you need."

She smiled "You're much nicer than the people at the hospital." She joked.

He chuckled, stroking her cheek with his thumb "I do my best, now get some sleep."

She nodded and closed her eyes and he watched as her breathing slowed to a steady rhythm. Kaidan could've left but he couldn't bring himself to. Opting to instead stay by her side all night, eventually drifting off himself, resting his head next to her on the mattress. Lily woke up the next morning and found Kaidan in the same spot he was in last night. She felt bad, but also a little happy. She lost all her friends and family just a couple weeks ago and she certainly didn't expect to find one during her first day in what was essentially a biotic death camp. Despite the claims suggesting otherwise.

"Good morning Kaidan."

He groaned and opened his eyes "Morning...do you feel better?"

She nodded "Thanks to you, but you could've gone back after I fell asleep."

"I couldn't bring myself to."

She smiled "Thank you."

"Of course, that's what friends are for right?" He gave her one last smile then stood up.

"You aren't gonna ask about my nightmare?"

He shook his head as he grabbed his uniform from the dresser "Not my place, but if you want to talk about it I'll listen."

She got out of bed and he handed Lily her uniform "Thanks…" she wasn't used to that, at the hospital whenever she had a nightmare there was a doctor the next day forcing her to talk about it. It was nice that wasn't the case for once.  
\------------  
Lily stood in front of the chair across from where Kaidan was sitting in the mess hall "This seat taken?"

He shook his head "All yours, but you're the XO much like Anderson you can sit wherever you want."

She chuckled as she sat down "True, but it doesn't hurt to be polite." 

Kaidan glanced at her mug "Not a coffee drinker?"

She shook her head "Not a fan of the taste, besides tea is better for you." So there was one thing that hadn't changed, she never drank coffee back then either.

As they stood in line for breakfast Lily crossed her arms over her body clinging to her hoodie and refusing to look at people "Are you okay Lily?"

She nodded "I just don't like being around a lot of people." 

"I understand, but I don't think you need to worry about the other kids here." 

"What about the instructors?"

"That remains to be seen." He wasn't going to lie and give her some false comfort, in fact that was the one thing the rest of the kids were worried about. 

They sat down and Lily stared at the tray "I sure hope this tastes better than hospital food."

"Don't most things taste better than hospital food?" He joked.

She laughed "True." 

It was the first time he had heard her laugh and he hoped it wouldn't be the last. After breakfast the rest of the kids made their way to their so-called classroom where they were greeted by a rather intimidating turian. The students whispered to each other as they got settled, things like "What's with the turian?" And "I didn't know there were turian biotics."

"My name is Commander Vyrnnus, I was at the helm of the dreadnought that killed your father." To most the kids it was a pretty low blow, but not for Kaidan and Lily. They shot each other a glance and he rolled his eyes.

"My father retired to Vancouver, he didn't even fight in the war." Vyrnnus glared at Kaidan and like the rest of the kids in the room including Lily looked at him like he was crazy.

"Kaidan…" Lily reached out to grab him and Vyrnnus' gaze was directed at her now.

"Aren't hoodies against the dress code?" She avoided his gaze "I mean that's why you wear a uniform after all." It was her dad's hoodie, but she wasn't going to tell him that "Take it off, we can't have you over heating."

Kaidan placed an arm in front of her protectively "Leave her alone, I pissed you off she didn't."

Lily looked between them then back down at her jacket, bringing a shaky hand up to the zipper and pulling it down "Fine." She slides it off, reveling the bruses and scrapes littering her arms "Happy?" She looked him in the eyes, clinging the bundled up jaket to her chest feeling insecure but hoping their sadistic teacher wouldn't notice.

"Thank you, now we can get started." He turned away from them and addressed the rest of the class. 

Kaidan turned to her and she averted her gaze trying to hide her arms "I'll explain after class." She whispered. Although he already had a good idea about where those marks came from.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So major major rape warning, proceed with caution.

Lily watched as Kaidan worked on the panel in the mess hall. She had been meaning to talk to him and now that they finally had some downtime it was the perfect chance. Lily made her way over and stopped in front of his work area, drawing his attention "Something you need Commander?" She heard he was all business so the response wasn't surprising.

"Do you have a minute to talk? One on one."

"Of course, what about?"

"I want to get to know you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, Chakwas said you don't talk much and I must say I'm intrigued."

He chuckled "Did she also say I tend to be a private person?"

"No, but I like a challenge." 

"Fair enough." She was much different than he remembered, and that was a good thing considering what she was like on jump zero. He still saw little snippets of the old Shepard but she almost seemed happier, ruthless too of course but happier all the same. Although, given everything that happened to her the ruthless part wasn't surprising.  
\----------  
"Remember that attack on Mindoir, the one on the news?"

Kaidan nodded "Yeah it was pretty gruesome to say the least."

"Well I was one of the people to make it out alive." 

He looked at her stunned "Lily I'm-" she cut him off.

"I don't want sympathy, everyone at the hospital treated me like some fragile victim I don't want you doing the same."

"Was that what your nightmare was about?"

She nodded "If I tell you what happened will you still be my friend?"

He nodded and kneeled down in front of her so he was level with where she sat in the chair "Of course I will."

She took a deep breath "Okay…"   
\---------  
"Stop! Let me go!" Lily screamed at the Batarian who was dragging her by her hair. She was kicking and screaming, the sound adding to the other colonists doing the same. She searched around frantically until her eyes landed on a knife she used her biotics to pull it and gripped it tightly and before any of the slavers noticed she cut off the hair the Batarian had his hand twisted in and ran as far as she could.

"So that explains…"

"The hair yeah, trust me it wasn't a fashion choice."

"What happened next?"

Eventually she felt a searing pain in her shoulder and blood running down her arm causing her to fall to the ground. She clutched her shoulder with her other arm and curled into a ball, crying. Her parents and friends were dead and she wanted to give up when she felt someone grab her arm. It was another slaver, figures. This time she didn't struggle, she didn't have it in her.   
"She's too pretty to kill." One of them commented.

"Yeah, I think the boss will take a liking to her." Another agreed.

"Why don't we test her out first." 

"Good idea."

Two Batarians held her down, taking her previous escape attempt into account they figured it was necessary, while another spread her legs. He moved her panties to the side and forced himself inside her and she cried out in pain. 

"I wonder if she's ever had sex before? She's really tight."

She sobbed as he roughly jammed his cock into her over and over and she could feel herself bleeding from force of his thrusts "Stop….please!" She begged, earning her a slap across the face.

"Shut up animal or we'll kill you when we're done." He threatened, his hand moving to her throat squeezing tightly. She struggled as she tried to break free from their hold to pull his hand off but the loss of oxygen to her brain was making it hard. Eventually she passed out and the Batarian let go.

"Did you kill her?"

"No she's still breathing, doubt she'll be waking up soon though." He trusted into her a couple more times before finishing inside her. By the time she came to the third man was taking her from behind while another had his cock in her throat as deep as it could go. She didn't struggle this time, instead hoping they'd kill her regardless. They finished at the same time and she felt herself about to vomit.

They stood up and admired their handiwork "Please just kill me…" she begged, all the fight taken out of her by now. 

"That would be too easy, we were just giving you a taste of what to expect."

"Maybe we'll find out what a human-batarian baby looks like." One of them taunted.

She propped herself up and vomited on the ground beneath her, the mere thought of it making her sick. She dry heaved and before she could throw up again, they fell to the ground. She looked up and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"We found another survivor!" She heard someone shout, survivor? Is that what she was? She sure didn't feel like it. The woman she figured to be alliance wrapped her in a blanket, picking her up "Come on sweetheart, we're getting you out of here." That was the last thing she heard as she passed out. 

Lily chewed on her bottom lip as she tried not to cry but as soon as Kaidan held her in his arms the dam burst and she sobbed into his chest, clinging to him. What she had just told him made him sick to his stomach but he pushed it aside, she said she didn't want sympathy but he didn't know what else he could offer.  
She spent most of her time in the hospital, her multiple suicide attempts and nightmares causing her to end up in the psych ward.   
\--------   
Kaidan felt uncomfortable knowing all these intimate things about her without her even remembering him, but he never brought it up during their conversations if she wanted to forget he'd respect that. After all, he still loved Lily, he just hadn't realized it until he saw her again. 

Kaidan pulled back slightly and wiped her tears away "My first time having sex and it was with the people that destroyed my home." 

Kaidan looked her in the eyes "Lily, that wasn't sex it was rape and there's a major difference." He assured her.

She placed her hand over his hand gave it a gentle squeeze "Thank you for listening...and not judging me."

He pressed his forehead against hers "You don't need to thank me for that." 

"You're a sweetheart Kaidan."

He liked the way she said his name and it worried him he might have feelings for her, but that was a problem for another day.   
\--------------  
"Kaidan...hey earth to Kaidan." Lily waved her hand in his face and he came back to reality.

"Huh?"

"You were zoning out, you okay?"

He nodded "Yeah, just remembering something from the past."

"What was it?"

He looked her over "Remember how I said I was a private person?"

She pouted "Fine...keep your secrets."

"Thank you."

She rolled her eyes "I'll get the truth out of you eventually Alenko."  
He smirked "We'll see."  
\--------------  
A few weeks later they were in their cooking class one morning that had started a couple weeks into their regular training and they stood at their table while they waited for the instructor "Welcome to jump zero where we let turians torture you for money and learn how to bake cookies." She scoffed and rolled her eyes, earning a laugh from Kaidan. 

"I hate to break it to you but I doubt we'll be learning how to bake cookies Lily."

"Willing to bet the next cup of rainbow sherbet they give us in the cafeteria?"

"That's the best one."

"I know."

"Fine, you're on."

The instructor came in and stood at the front of the class "Alright everybody I see that you're all here, today we'll start with something simple chocolate chip cookies."

"Hell yeah, you better pay up Alenko."

"Oh god damn it." 

As they were mixing the ingredients Lily got an idea "Do you think we should make some for vyrnnus?"

"Aren't turians dextro?"

"So?"

He looked at her "Are you suggesting we poison him?"

"I am absolutely suggesting that."

"You're horrible."

"He's horrible."

He rolled his eyes "You gonna pour those chocolate chips in or are you going to eat them all?"

She looked down at the bag and chuckled "Oh, right." She poured them into the bowl "There."

He looks down and realizes she'd poured half the bag in there "You like a lot of them I take it?"

"Uh duh, chocolate is the best invention ever."

He laughed "Fair enough." Lily seemed a bit more cheerful these past couple weeks, she still only talked to him but it was an improvement. Kaidan really liked her, so it was nice that she was opening up more. They watched as their cookies baked in the oven, both nervous about how they'll turn out.

"Do you like baking Lily?" He realized he didn't know much about her hobbies and he figured now was a good time to start.

She shrugged as she continued to munch on some chocolate chips "Yeah, my mom would always pull me in the kitchen to help."

"So these might actually turn out right huh?"

She smiled "Hopefully, but no one makes chocolate chip cookies like she does." Lily bit the inside of her cheek, something Kaidan knew she did when she was trying not to cry.

Kaidan wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his side. She was small, but seemed even more so now "Hey, it's okay." She pressed against him and he leaned down "If you need to leave I can cover for you." He whispered. 

She shook her head "Thanks but I'll be okay." 

He pulled back, arm still around her "If you're sure…" They stayed like that until the oven dinged and Kaidan pulled away to take them out of the oven "Well they smell like cookies."

"Which is half the battle."

He set the tray on the cooling rack "Okay so we should probably let them cool down." He looked over and saw that Lily had already taken a spatula to one.

"Too late." Lily put the cookie in her mouth immediately regretting it as the cookie burnt her "Ow, hot!" She waved her hands over her mouth and jumped up and down causing Kaidan to shake his head.

"As I was saying." He looked over at her and noticed she had some chocolate on the corner of her mouth, without thinking he wiped it off with his thumb causing her to blush which he somehow didn't notice as he wiped it off on a napkin "That's what you get for not letting them cool."

"You're so mean!" She exclaimed, mouth still full of cookie. She was eventually able to swallow it "Ugh thank god." She looked up and saw most the class staring at them, a couple kids snickering as a few more added credits to each other's accounts grumbling.

Lily hid behind Kaidan, not comfortable with everyone staring at her at once "What's up?" Kaidan did his best not to sound hostile but he wasn't too happy about her being scared.

"Oh nothing." They all shared glances before turning back to what they were doing.

"Uh huh."   
\----------  
Kaidan sat in the mess hall by himself reading a book he was able to get his hands on from another student, they had kind of a barter system and lucky for him he was able to trade half a turkey sandwich for a book a student had on them. Lily thought it was silly but Kaidan knew it was a worthy investment. As he was reading a couple of his friends sat in front of him.

"Lily isn't with you?" 

He shook his head "She's taking a shower."

"Ah she kicked you out huh?" 

"No, I left on my own, I wanted to be respectful." 

His friends exchanged a look "So uh what's the deal with you two?"  
Kaidan looked up "Huh?" 

"You're practically inseparable."

"We're friends."

"Yeah okay, but she hardly looks at or talks to any of us so what'd you do?"

Kaidan shrugged "I don't know." That was a lie, he knew why she was like that but it wasn't his place to reveal anything.

"Is that right?"

"Are you guys into her?"

"No but we want to be friends with her, a bunch of us do but it's kinda difficult so we wanted some insight."

Before Kaidan could respond she walked into the mess hall wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized sweater with some slippers. She hadn't gained much weight since she's been here so most things were still big on her "There you are." She said as she plopped down next to him "You didn't have to leave you know."

"Yeah but it felt like the right thing to do."

"You're too nice." She murmured as she brushed her damp hair.

"How was your shower?" His friend chimed in.

Lily looked up and slid closer to Kaidan "It was fine." She replied, eyes trained on the table.

"Enough hot water? The showers here suck."

Kaidan placed a soothing hand on her back as he read his book and she relaxed a bit "Similar to one's in the prefab I grew up on."

"Ain't that the truth, what colony are you from?"

She tensed up and Kaidan shot her a glance "I'm uh I'm from Mindoir."

"Oh…."

"Sorry, we shouldn't have asked."

"No it's fine, you didn't know."

An awkward silence settled over them "Hey uh us and a couple other people we're gonna play some poker, if you both wanted to join we'd be happy to have you."

"Thanks, we'll think on it." Kaidan replied as they waved to each other.

Lily let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and relaxed "Hey Kaidan…"

"You want to play poker with them?"

She nodded shyly "Not if you don't want to."

He got up "Lily if you want to consider it done." He got up and offered her his hand which she happily took. She looked at him as they walked together and she realized what these feelings she had for him were, she was falling in love with him. He'd become more than just her protector and she hoped he felt the same.  
\----------------  
"I finally figured it out." She announced as she stopped in front of him.

"Hello to you too."

She waved him off "Shut up and listen."

"I-okay…"

"When I was a teenager I was dragged off to this biogic torture camp and there was this boy there." She smiled as if it was a fond memory "He was my knight in shining armor, my prince on a white horse if you will."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I really loved him I never told him of course but still…" she trailed off "Anyway you remind me of him, you even have the same name."

"Is that right?" 

"Yup, I haven't talked to him since then but I hope he's okay." Kaidan so badly wanted to tell her that they were the same person but he had neglected her after everything that went down and he never forgave himself and he didn't think she would either.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I shorter chapter than usual sorry about that ^^;;; I also want to thank those who left kudos, it definitely motivated to continue this.

As soon as they made it to the table everyone else was seated at, a couple girls immediately flocked to her "Lily you made it!" One exclaimed excitedly, catching Lily off guard.

"We were hoping you would." Another said, she recognized that girl to be Rahna, she was the prettiest one here but she didn't act like it "Come on sit next to us."

The girls ushered her away and she looked back at Kaidan alarmed, he simply nodded and mouthed "Have fun." As he took a seat next to his friends.

"Do you know how to play?" 

She shrugged "Um kinda, it's been a while."

"No worries, we'll help you out." 

"Oh, thank you I appreciate it." 

Kaidan looked up from his cards a couple times throughout the game and caught her smiling and laughing. He was happy for her, it was nice seeing her enjoying herself with other people.   
\-------------  
After a couple rounds they were packing up when her new friends came up to her "If you ever get sick of Kaidan you should come hang out with us or you know just because."

Lily nodded "I'd like that, thank you."

"Are you tired? You were quiet the whole way back." Kaidan asked when they returned to their room.

"No actually I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"Yeah I had a lot of fun tonight, thanks for taking me with you."

"If I recall you're the one that wanted to go."

"Yeah I know but still…" she fidgeted with the hem of her sweater and glanced up at him before hugging him "I don't think I would've worked up the courage had it not been for you."

He hugged her back "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, but you're welcome."  
\-----------  
Lily woke up in the hospital confused. She looked down and saw an IV needle in her arm, she took it out but there wasn't any blood. She shrugged it off for now and got out of bed and noticed that the room she was in was filled with empty beds and there wasn't any sound coming from outside the door, immediately making her uneasy. She gripped the door knob and took a deep breath before hesitantly opening the door and peeking her head outside, surveying the area before quietly walking out.

She wandered the hall when she suddenly bumped into someone, he was much taller than she was but seemed familiar.   
He turned around and gave her a gentle smile "Lily, it's good to see you." Something about him was off but she couldn't put her finger on it. 

"Kaidan? But they...you were taken away after what happened to vyrnnus." She didn't understand what he was doing here or how he even knew where she was.

"They cut me loose, said it was self defense."

"Oh…" it was believable, but when they were separated he had a wound on his lip from the knife and bruises from when vyrnnus nearly killed him. Something wasn't right. 

"Shall we go? I'm sure you want out of here." He extended his hand and she reached for it but anger overcame her.

"No!" Lily shouted as she pulled away "You left me! You abandoned me!" Tears pooled in her eyes and she clenched her fists at her side "You said you'd always be there for me!" She shouted at this person who clearly wasn't Kaidan and started to cry "I loved you so why?!" She doubled over and hugged herself. She knew it wasn't his fault but part of her was mad he never replied to her messages or tried to talk to her after that "Why?" 

Lily shot up in bed covered in a cold sweat and breathing heavily, it was a nightmare she hasn't had in a long time. She climbed out of bed and walked into the mess hall where she found Kaidan sitting and made her way over, sitting in front of him "Can't sleep?"

He shook his head "Nope, you?"

"I'm prone to bouts of insomnia, the meds don't help with nightmares though."

"From the beacon?"

She knew that she could tell Kaidan anything without judgment but Lily didn't want to talk about it "Something like that."

"Well I'll keep you company until you're tired."

She smiled "Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Anything for you Commander." He probably didn't mean anything by it but she couldn't help but read into it. She had it bad.  
\-------------  
Lily poked at her sorry excuse for pancakes, zoning out. Kaidan knew she wasn't a morning person but this was something different entirely. He was pretty sure he heard her crying in the bathroom earlier but couldn't be sure, and he wasn't going to barge in on her on mere speculation. 

"What's wrong Lily?" No response "I know they aren't the best pancakes in the world but I thought you liked them." 

She blinked and looked at him "Huh?"

"Are you okay? You've been zoning out pretty hard since we sat down."

"Oh um...nothing don't worry about it." She shook her head and reached for the syrup dousing her breakfast in it.

"Still can't believe you put syrup on bacon."

"You're Canadian and you don't like syrup?"

"I like it fine, the combination is what I have a problem with."

She giggled "Don't knock it 'till you try it Alenko."

"Now seriously Lily, what's wrong?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes "Today's my mom's birthday."

"Were you two close?"

"Yeah, my dad was Alliance so it was just me and her most of the time he had just come back home when uh…."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have pressured you."

She leaned against him "The first step to getting over something is to talk about it. At least that's what the shrink told me." 

"Did you believe him?"

"Not really, I'll stop grieving when I want to, don't know why they were letting some doctor tell me when." 

"Tell me about her."

"She was the most beautiful woman in the galaxy, loved to sing but wasn't any good, friendly too, everyone on the colony liked her. She didn't deserve what happened." Kaidan took her in his arms, she wasn't crying but the way she clung to him suggested she wanted to.

"I have pictures, would you like to see them?"

"Of course."

She wiped away tears that were on the verge of falling and opened up her omni-tool "There she is, Hannah Shepard." 

"You look a lot like her." 

That made her laugh "Yeah, we'd get that all the time, she felt like it was more of a compliment to her but I always took it as one, my mother was beautiful I'm glad people thought we looked alike." She lingers on the picture a little longer before putting it away "I think she'd like you Kaidan."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, she'd hate that I'm here but I think she'd be happier knowing I have someone like you."

They hold each other's gaze longer than usual and if they weren't in the middle of breakfast he'd kiss her right there. He's the first to look away, leaving Lily disappointed "We should eat."

"Right…" They sat in a mixture of awkward but comfortable silence, meanwhile the rest of the kids set up a new betting pool over who would confess first. Good money was on Kaidan but naturally Rahna and the other girls sided with Lily who were as equally frustrated with how long this was going on for. One of them had to give in first the only question was who.


	4. Chapter 4

Kaidan was slammed against the wall, he was pretty sure he'd have some broken ribs but his main priority was how to get the eight-hundred pound alien off of him when Lily hit him with a neural shock, causing him to tumble and convulse on the floor setting Kaidan free in the process. Lily filled him with a few radioactive rounds before rushing to Kaidan, medi-gel ready. Since she was a medic she was always quick on the draw to the point it was impressive.

"Are you okay?" She asked him as she applied medi-gel "Any blurry vision, headache?"

"No, pretty sure my ribs are broken but it's nothing I haven't experienced before."

She shook her head and looked at him "You can let people worry about you Kaidan." She helped him up and to her relief he regained his balance pretty quickly "At least let me worry about you."

"Hey love birds, we have a mission to finish remember?" Ashley teased, causing them both to blush and pull away. Ashley was the only one who knew of their relationship and was helping them keep it secret, but that certainly didn't stop her from teasing them in private.

"Right...move out!" Lily ordered, she always went back into Commander mode when she was embarrassed it was actually kind of cute but then again, Kaidan was her boyfriend.  
\------------  
Lily sat at dinner surrounded by her friends with Kaidan sitting across from her "Lily your hair has gotten longer." One of them commented.

"She's right, it looks really cute on you." Rahna chimed in.

"Really?" She blushed and played with the ends, a nervous tick she's always had.

"Of course!" They all grinned at each other and drew their attention to Kaidan.

"Right Kaidan?" They asked in unison and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit scared by it. 

"Yeah, you look really pretty." Her face turned red as did Kaidan's "I'll ah see you ladies later I have uh something to attend to." He rushed off and Lily looked down at the table disappointed.

"What's wrong Lil?" It was the nickname they decided to give her and to her surprise she actually liked it.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course." She was close to the other girls but Rahna felt like a sister to her, she'd never say it to her face though.

"I think I'm in love with Kaidan." She mumbled.

"Yeah honey, we know." 

She hid her face with her hands out of shame "I'm that obvious?"

They nodded "Yeah but so is he, we promise if you were to tell him it would end well trust us."

She was silent "You think I should?"

"We want you to be happy, but if you don't feel comfortable saying something we won't pressure you."

She smiled at them "Thank you…" more silence "Maybe you're right, I should just tell him and then it'll stop eating at me."

"At least then you'll know how he feels."

She got up "Okay, I'll do it thanks guys." 

"Good luck!" They called as they waved to her.

She practiced what she was going to say on the way to their room and she hesitated before walking in, when she saw him she was ready to give her speech but froze and all that came out of her mouth was "I love you."  
\-----------  
Lily gently rested her hand against his bandages "I'm glad you're okay."

"I told you not to worry." Kaidan cupped her face in his hands and kissed her head.

"I know but still, when your boyfriend gets attacked by a Krogan you tend to panic." She gazed up at him "What if that were me?"

He sighed "Point taken."

She kissed him which before they knew it had turned into a full on make out session, thank god they were in her cabin. Her breasts pressed against him and he would've taken her right there if his injury didn't hurt as bad as it did. One other thing was also bothering him, he cared about Lily and wanted to take their relationship seriously and doing that meant admitting he was the boy on jump zero she was in love with.

It worried him how she'd react after how their relationship ended but she needed to know. Kaidan pulled away and she looked confused "What's wrong, do you need more medi-gel?"

He shook his head "No." Kaidan looked into her eyes "I have something I need to tell you love."

"What is it?" Worry was evident in her features and he sighed.

"Remember your friend on jump zero you told me about?"

She nodded "Yeah." 

"Well that was me."  
\------------  
He blinked in surprise "You...what?"

She wanted to space herself out the airlock but stood her ground "I know we haven't known each other long but that's how I feel and I need to know how you feel so I can put it behind me."

Put it behind her? Did she really believe that he wouldn't feel the same? It almost hurt to think that was her belief but now he had to set the record straight "I love you Lily, I think I did the moment I saw you."

"Liar."

"Why are you so sure?" He moved closer to her and she fidgeted with her hair trying to find an answer.

"I don't know...it's just." He placed a gentle hand on her cheek and she looked up at him "I'm scared."

"Of?"

"The last time I had a boyfriend he died protecting me, I couldn't live with myself if the same thing happened to you."

"He did that because he loved you, and I'd do the same."

She shook her head "No…" 

"But I've seen your biotics, you don't need any protection."  
She kissed him, it was brief but she'd been wanting to do it for three months now. Kaidan held her "I love you Lily, always." 

She clung to him as tears streamed down her cheek "Me too." She knew these were more than likely teenage hormones but for now, she wanted to trust these feelings, even for a little bit.  
\-----------  
She crossed her arms and looked at him, suspiciously "Prove it."

He pulled up his omni-tool and pulled up a picture they had taken together. It was after they had sex for the first time she was using his shoulder as a pillow, cuddled up closely, smiling "I remember you saying that it was the happiest you've ever been, and that I thought the same."

"I don't understand, why didn't you say anything?" She wasn't angry, just confused.

"From what I could see, you were so much better and considering what happened there and how our relationship ended I thought it was best not to say anything."

She sighed "Guess I can't blame you but I have one question."

"Of course."

"Why didn't you return any of my messages, because out of everything that had happened that's what hurt the worse."

Kaidan nodded "I was ashamed, I know you weren't afraid of me and after the dust settled and I worked through it I intended to reach out but I couldn't bring myself to because I figured you hated me after so long"

They stood in an awkward silence, Lily still processing what Kaidan had told her "I guess part of me did, I needed you and I felt like you abandoned me, I didn't know what happened to you, hell for the longest time I was scared they had locked you up but I guess not."

"So where do we go from here?"

"I lost you once, I'm not letting you leave again even if you want to."

He smiled "I wouldn't dream of it, not again."

"Good." She pushed him on her bed "Now let's finish what we started lieutenant."

"Aye aye ma'am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared for some smut next chapter ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im still very bad at smut, please don't be too harsh 😓

Lily climbed on top of Kaidan, hovering over him, breasts level with his face. She was wearing nothing but a flimsy tank top and shorts, it would've been so easy to pull the straps down and nibble on them like they were candy, but he knew better. 

Lily kissed him, hard. Kaidan grabbed her hips and ground her against his erection while he slipped his tongue in her mouth. She moaned and moved her hips against him, she knew if they pulled apart right now the crew could hear moan shamelessly because of her Lieutenant's cock. Much to her horror Kaidan pulled away from the kiss and she buried her face in her shoulder trying anything to muffle her voice, but Kaidan was intent on hearing her.

"Move up for me baby." He growled in her ear, making her shiver as she realized what he wanted to do with her. He pushed down both her shorts and lacy black panties, pulling her up so she was sitting on his face, gasping at the first swipe of his tongue on her   
clit.

"Kaidan!" She gasped as she gripped his hair tightly. Kaidan groaned at the taste of her and lapped at her pussy as if it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. Lily rode his face, her back arched and eyes rolling back in her head as she cried out his name, not caring who heard her at this point. She came against him, trembling. 

Kaidan pulled her back down so she was straddling him again and he sat up ignoring the pain from his wound. He set her hair free from her ponytail, her scrunchie falling to the floor soon followed by her tank top as he took a nipple in his mouth. He teased her for a bit, the smell of his arousal making his head fuzzy but he wanted to tease her more. He kissed her chest up her jaw and sucked on her earlobe "I love you Lily, you so beautiful." He whispered as he kissed her cheek, making his way to her lip "I've never loved anyone like I've loved you." 

Kaidan kissed her again and Lily sank into him, her hands fumbling with his belt and he chuckled, pulling away from her lips "Impatient are we?" He helped her with his pants and as soon as they were off she sunk herself on his cock, he laid back as she rode him and he watched as her breasts bounced, occasionally glancing down at his cock entering her pussy coated in her arousal.

Her nails dug into his chest as she practically screamed above him "More...I want more." Kaidan gripped her hips, holding her down and thrust up into her "Yes! Like that!"

She was wild above him and he loved it "Your cock is amazing! I'm gonna cum."

"Go ahead, I want to watch." He practically growled as he slammed harder into her. She came hard around his cock and fell forward on his chest clinging to him as he continued to fuck her, seeking his own release. Kaidan held Lily close as he came inside her now over sensitive pussy. He kissed the side of her head and ran his fingers soothingly through her silky black hair "I love you." He whispered as she drifted off to sleep in his arms.   
\----------  
Lily poked her food with her fork like she always did when there was something on her mind "What's wrong Lily?"

She looked at Kaidan "What?"

"You're doing that thing where you play with your food, what's up?"

"What are you going to do when and if we're finally free from here?"

"Well see my parents for one, but other than that I'm not sure." She nodded and continued to fidget with her food.

"What about you?"

"I don't know, I don't have any family left no home to go back to, I'll probably just be shoved in an orphanage for a couple years and then...who knows."

"What did you want before all this?" 

She was silent before finally answering "I wanted to be an actress."

"Oh yeah?"

She nodded "Yeah, I was in all the plays at the colony, not always a lead but I'd rather have a character that suited me instead of a lead because I was good."

"It could still happen."

"I guess, I just don't have the motivation to do anything right now I...I feel lost I guess."

"That's understandable."

"It is?"

"Of course Lily, you lost your family, your home anyone would feel that way."

"Thanks, I suppose you're right."

"It'll be okay, you'll figure it out I know it."

She rested her head on his shoulder "I love you."

"I love you too."

After they returned to their room for the night Lily had one more question for him "Can I ask you something else?"

"Of course."

"Will our relationship end after all this." 

"Do you want it to?"

She shook her head "No…"

"Good, because I don't know what will happen after all this but I do know I want to be with you, for as long as you want me that is."  
Lily wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, it was slow at first and before she knew it she was lying on her back in his bed. He held her as they kissed, not wanting to move too fast for her.

She pulled away for air and looked away shyly "Do you uh do you want to..?"

"Not if you don't."

"I want to, I'm just scared." Given what had happened to her it wasn't surprising, and the last thing he wanted was to trigger those memories.

"Have you touched yourself before?"

Her face turned bright red "On...on occasion."

"Why don't we start there, show me."

She bit her lip and hesitantly removed the leggings she had on along with her boxer shorts, Kaidan pushing down his sweat pants and underwear at the same time.

She sucked on her fingers trying to get them wet, the gesture making his cock twitch as he watched. She slowly spread her legs and pushed in two fingers, watching as Kaidan began to stroke himself, the sight making her wetter.

Her arousal coated her fingers and slid down her thighs as she moved them in and out using her other hand to reach under her shirt, teasing her nipple as she closed her eyes and pretended it was Kaidan touching her, making her feel good.

Kaidan did his best to keep his eyes open as he stroked his cock faster, wanting to watch as Lily moaned and squirmed beneath him "Kaidan!" She cried out as she arched her back and thrust her hips up wanting more "Yes Kaidan."

Hearing his name come from her lips spurred him on and he leaned over her propping himself up with one hand as he   
continued stroking his cock whispering her name as he did so "I'm gonna cum, Kaidan I'm gonna cum."

"Me too baby, go ahead."

She cried out as her body shook and her muscles tightened around her fingers. Kaidan followed soon after, spilling himself on her stomach. Kaidan looked down at her as she caught her breath, he pulled away and took her hand sucking on the fingers that had been inside her not too long ago, moaning at the taste of her arousal. 

He looked her in the eyes and she shivered "Me too, I want to taste you." Kaidan took her hand out of his mouth and scooped up the cum on her stomach with his fingers, pushing them in her mouth. The taste was bitter but she somewhat liked it, probably because it belonged to the man she loved. He removed his fingers from her mouth and kissed her, tasting each other on their tongues. 

They laid next to each other in his bed after they cleaned up and she smiled up at him watching as he slept, she knew it already but he was handsome. His tan skin, long eyelashes, full lips. She loved everything about him and she was sure she'd always feel that way. He was her prince, the person who always pulled her out of her negative thoughts when she couldn't do it herself. Lily stroked his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips before falling asleep next to him.  
\---------  
Lily woke up one morning to Kaidan looking around for some pain killers. She rubbed her eyes "You know it might help if you turned on the lights." She climbed out of bed and went for the light switch when he stopped her.

"Don't!" He responded harshly, shocking her "Sorry just leave them off, please." Something was up with him and she was worried.

"Kaidan what's wrong?" 

He shook his head as he finally found what he was looking for "Just a headache, don't worry love."

"Most people don't use extra strength meds for a headache."

"Lily it's fine."

She shook her head "Don't give me that, get in bed and go to sleep." She pulled him over to her bed and guided him into it "I'll stay with you."

He shook his head "We have to keep our relationship a secret, if we're both missing they'll suspect something."

"But Kaidan-" 

he cut her off "It's fine, I promise."

She didn't believe him, he was pale and couldn't even open his eyes, he was far from fine "Okay, but you need to eat something at least I'll be back with breakfast, wait for me."

She hurriedly got ready and made her way to the cafeteria "My roommate has a really bad headache, could I get some food so he can take his meds?" The attendant nodded and came back with a couple pastries and a togo cup for tea "Thank you." Lily rushed off not even bothering with breakfast for herself.

She quietly entered their room and set his food on the desk, I got you some food and tea please eat something."

He nodded, slowly "I will, now get to class before they suspect something."

"Okay...feel better." 

In the middle of one of Vyrnnus' sadistic drills she got a nosebleed and fell to her knees, a couple of Kaidan's friends knelt down next to her "Lily what's wrong?" Worry etched on their features.

"I guess I pushed myself too hard on an empty stomach."

"You didn't eat?" 

She shook her head "No, Kaidan woke up with a headache, I guess I was too worried and forgot."

"Lily…" Vyrnnus stopped in front of her and the students froze.

"Can't function without your boy toy huh?" He taunted.

She glared at him "Nobody asked you turian." She spat, that was the wrong move and she knew it. 

Vyrnnus grabbed her by her hair and pulled it hard, "Little human girl thinks she's tough." He laughed, she froze memories of Mindoir resurfacing for the first time in four months and she started trembling.

"Let go…" her voice was shaky and she could feel tears pooling in her eyes.

Vyrnnus pulled harder, jerking her towards him "Please stop, I'm sorry." She started crying "Let me go please, it hurts." He took too much pleasure in it and that infuriated her.

"Not so strong without your protector huh?" He pushed her back letting her fall to the ground and Rahna dashed over to her, helping her back up "Class dismissed." He told them turning away from them.

"Come on Lil, let's get you back to your room."

"Good thing Kaidan is asleep." 

"You aren't going to mention it?"

She shook her head when they stepped in front of her room "No, I don't want him to worry."

Rahna sighed "If you say so...but he has it out for you and next time he snaps might be in front of Kaidan."

"I know…" Rahna gave her a hug before they parted ways. Lily entered the still dark room and saw Kaidan laying on her bed with his back to the door. It looked like he ate what she brought him and she smiled. 

Lily kicked off her shoes and got in bed behind Kaidan, clinging to his shirt and burying her face in his back.   
Later Kaidan woke up, feeling much better and turned around to see Lily sleeping soundly next to him. He smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips, taking her in his arms. They laid there for a bit before she woke up "Kaidan."

"Hey there."

"You're feeling better?"  
"I am, thanks to you." He brushed back her bangs and kissed her forehead "How was class?"

She tensed up "It was uh it was fine." He didn't need to know, and she hoped her acting skills were good enough to fool him.

"I guess fine is all we can hope for with Vyrnnus huh?" He chuckled.

She laughed with him "Yeah…" Lily knew if Kaidan found out it wouldn't end well so she kept it a secret, for his sake or Vyrnnus' she wasn't sure.


	6. Chapter 6

10 years ago

Lily walked into the kitchen where her mom was doing dishes and tugged on her skirt "Mommy can I ask you something?"

Her mother turned off the sink and dried her hands, kneeling down to look at her "Of course baby girl."

"Are my powers bad?"

The question caught her off guard "Where did that come from?"

"It's just I have to keep them a secret so I was just curious."

She sighed and took Lily in her arms "They aren't bad just...different."

"Different?" 

Her mother nodded "Not everyone has them and I don't know what would happen if the colony found out." 

She kissed her head "I just want to protect you sweetheart that's all."

Lily hugged her "Okay, I love you mommy."

"I love you too honey."

Present day

Lily sat up in bed, she rubbed her eyes and looked down surprised that her hands were now wet with tears. She felt a hand on her back and she looked over and saw Kaidan was sitting up next to her "You okay?"

His reaction to her waking up was almost immediate and it warmed her heart "Yeah, sorry for waking you."

He wrapped her arms around her and kissed her head "Bad dream?" 

"No, I dreamt about my mom."

"What was it about?"

"Just something from the past, I was the only biotic in the colony and my mom didn't know how people would react so she made me keep my powers a secret."

"Makes sense."

"I wonder how she would react to me being here." 

"Same way the rest of our parents did, not well."

"I don't know, she was protective but if they phrased it like they were helping me she would've agreed."

"That's how they phrased it to my mom but my dad wasn't buying it, not that it mattered in the end."

"If it helps, we wouldn't have met had they not dragged us away."

He kissed the back of her head and she leaned back against his chest "There is one upside then."

He pulled her back down on the bed and she giggled "After this, let's go back to earth together."

She smiled "I'd love that."

"I can show you Vancouver."

"Is that where you're from?"

He nodded "Yeah, it's beautiful there I think you'll like it."

She stroked his cheek "If I'm with you I know I will."  
\-------------  
Lily felt herself get dizzy and the glass of water in front of her was looking better by the minute, she knew it was against the rules to grab it instead of pulling it but her head was pounding and she felt a nosebleed coming. Against her better judgment she reached for the class, not noticing Vyrnnus coming up behind her until he grabbed her arm and twisted it "Ow! You mother...fucker!" The room stilled, Kaidan was the only one to act and Vyrnnus turned his attention to him.

"Let her go." They stared at each other for a couple seconds before dropping her to the floor. Kaidan ran over to her but was stopped by Vyrnnus who grabbed him and tossed him against the wall. 

"I should've bombed your whole race back to the stone age." He growled as he went at Kaidan, pointing a knife at his throat.

"Kaidan no!" She tried to get up but the pain in her arm coupled with Rahna gently pulling her back down stopped her "He's gonna kill him let me go." 

As she said that Vyrnnus was flung across the room, his neck snapping. They all stared at his body in disbelief.

"Jesus Kaidan, you killed him." One of the kids said, fear in his voice.

Before Kaidan could react a couple instructors rushed into the room "What the hell is going on in here?" Their eyes were drawn to Vyrnnus' body and back to the rest of them "Which one of you did this?" 

"I did." Kaidan slowly pulled himself back up and everyone looked in his direction.

"It was self defense, Vyrnnus would've killed him!" Lily spoke up and they looked at her.

"Did Vyrnnus do this to you?" Lily nodded and the woman knelt down in front of her "Get me a medic and…" she glanced at Kaidan "Get him out of here." Kaidan didn't resist as the other instructor grabbed him.

Lily reached for him with her good arm "Kaidan…" 

He smiled at her "It's fine Lily." As he left the doctor ran in and her and Rahna helped Lily up and to the infirmary.   
\---------  
She sat on the edge of the bed, her arm now in a cast and Rahna still next to her "It wasn't his fault." 

"I know." She didn't really know what else to say, Lily was devastated and if she was being honest she was a little scared of him right now.

"He didn't do anything wrong Rahna, Kaidan isn't like that."

"Lily…" She avoided her gaze.

"You're scared of him aren't you?"

She sighed "Lily I think you're the only one who's not."

Lily looked down at the ground "I love him, I could never be scared of him." Rahna rubbed her back and they both looked up as they heard the door opened, Lily hoping it was Kaidan but was disappointed. 

The nurse walked over to them "When you're both ready go pack your things, we're sending you all home."

"And Kaidan?"

"They haven't decided yet."

"Come Lily, I'll help you pack."

Lily nodded, letting Rahna escort her out of the room "Okay…"  
\----------  
Lily was walking with Rahna to wait for the shuttles when Kaidan accompanied by two instructors, walked past them. Lily handed Rahna her bag and ran after them best she could with a broken arm "Kaidan!" 

He turned to face her "Lily."

"Where are you taking him?"

"Earth, like the rest of you."

"Why can't he come with us?"

"He's a murderer young lady."

"No he's not, you don't even know him."

"Lily it's okay."

She ignored him "Can I at least say goodbye to him, he was protecting me. It's my fault Vyrnnus died."

They glanced at each other "Fine, but make it quick."

She wrapped her one good arm around his neck and kissed him, they stayed like that before she was pulled away "Alright that's enough."

"I love you Kaidan!" She called out as they dragged her away.

"I love you too Lily, always."

She was quiet the entire way "home" she didn't have a home, not anymore and she wasn't even sure what was going to happen to her now. Not that she cared anymore.

When they arrived on earth she watched as her friends ran off to their parents while she stood there alone, she hadn't felt alone in a long time and now with Kaidan gone...she had no one. She looked down, tears threatening to fall when someone came up behind her "Lily Shepard?"

She looked over her shoulder "Who wants to know?"

"We're here to take you to the local orphanage." 

That's right, she was an orphan wasn't she? It had finally sunk in "No ones gonna try and adopt me are they?"

"At sixteen? Not likely."

"Good." She knew it was an odd response but she didn't want new parents, she wanted her old ones back.  
\--------  
Lily sat, staring out the window. Kaidan was right, Vancouver was beautiful. Not that she ever left unless it was for work or school. A day doesn't go by where she doesn't think of him, she constantly wishes she'd run into him or he'd reply to her messages but it never happened. She was beginning to think she'd never see him again. 

"How is she?"

The woman who ran the orphanage sighed "Not great, she doesn't talk to the other kids and some days won't eat."

"Can I talk to her?"

"Of course." She opened the door "Lily, someone is here to talk to you."

"Are they gonna try and adopt me?"

"No."

"Is it Kaidan?"

"No…"

"Then tell them to go away."

She looked at Anderson "Did I mention she's stubborn?"

He chuckled "No worries." Lily's ears perked up when she heard his voice and she looked over.

"Anderson?"

He stepped into the room "You remember me I see."

"You visited me everyday of course I remember but why are you here?"

"I heard about jump zero that the only person who survived Mindior was in an orphanage on earth so I thought I'd stop by."

"You're not here to recruit me?"

"Do you want to join the Navy?"

She was quiet "Yeah, a little I mean it's not like I have many other options."

"You have a couple years to think on it but if you decide that's what you want to do give me a call."

She nodded "Thanks, I will." 

"Good, now would you let me take you to dinner? I hear you haven't been eating properly."

"Did Laura tell you that?"

"She worries about you." 

Lily rolled her eyes as she got up "I'm fine."

"You haven't gained weight since I saw you, I beg to differ."

"Alright but I'm picking the restaurant." She grabbed her coat and when they stepped outside the first thing she noticed was the snow.

"Don't like snow?"

"I've never seen it, I was told it didn't snow much here so I wasn't expecting any." She stared up at the sky "I like it." She couldn't help but wonder if Kaidan was seeing the snow too, she had no idea what had happened to him for all she knew he was in some prison cell. She certainly hoped not but he wasn't responding to her so how was she supposed to know. Lily sighed, she just hoped that no matter where he was, he was happy.

"Are you okay Lily?"

She was brought back to reality by Anderson's voice "Yeah, yeah I'm good let's go."  
\----------  
Kaidan sat next to his dad, staring out the window as he helped him untangle Christmas lights "What's wrong Kaidan?"

He turned to face his dad "Huh?"

"You've been zoning out for a while, something on your mind?" 

"No it's just…" he shook his head "It's nothing."

"Is it about jump zero?"

"Yeah…"

"Your teacher?"

"Part of it."

"What's the other part?"

"There was this girl there, Lily. She was from Mindoir, her colony had just been attacked when we met." He smiled "She was smart, charming as hell, beautiful but not stuck up about it."

"You were in love with her I take it."

He nodded "Yeah, and now I won't ever see her again."

"Has she tried messaging you?"

"Yeah but I'm too ashamed to face her, she wasn't scared of me but still…."

"If you two were meant to be you'll meet again."

"I guess."

He father patted him on the back "Now let's get these untangled before your mother yells at us."

He chuckled "Yes sir."  
\------------  
Lily and Kaidan lay next to each other in her cabin, they had finally defeated saren and while that was only the start for now she'd take it. "What should we do for shore leave?"

He was half asleep but still answered her "Hmmm I could finally fulfill my promise and show you around Vancouver."

She smiled and kissed him "I thought you forgot."

"A promise I made to you? Never."

"Will you promise me something else?"

"Anything."

"Don't ever leave me again."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good, because you aren't getting away that easily this time Alenko."


	7. Epilogue

2 years later

Lily hopped out of Anderson's car, Anderson following close behind her as she excitedly made her way to the recruitment office "You know most kids want money or a nice dinner for their birthday, not to join the Navy."

"Have I ever struck you as ordinary, Anderson?"

He chuckled "No I suppose not."

"And don't get it twisted I still want dinner I just want to do this first."

"If you don't mind my asking Lily, why do you want to sign up?"

Her hand froze as she reached for the door handle "The Alliance saved my life on Mindoir, I want to do the same. I want to save people too."

"And you will, I know you have it in you Lily."

She smiled and glanced at him "Thanks Anderson."

He held the door open for her "Birthday girl first."

She walked inside and Anderson followed her inside "Can I ask you one other thing Anderson?"

"Of course."

"Do you think my parents would be proud of me?"

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and jostled her a bit "Of course they would."

She sighed "Okay, let's do this."  
\---------  
Kaidan stared at his omni-tool, it had been two years since he'd seen her and he couldn't help but think about what she was doing now. Did she go through with being an actress like she wanted? Would the next time he saw her be in a movie? He wanted the best for her but the thought made his chest ache. He sighed as he read her messages and decided to write one back.

"Hey Lily, can you believe it's been two years already? It went by really quickly….anyway I just wanted to see how you were doing, I know it took me a long time to reply to you but I needed to work through some stuff. I know that sounds like a bullshit excuse….anyway like I said I just wanted to check in and let you know that I miss you and I still love you." 

He read over the message and was about to send it but decided against it, he didn't delete it in the hopes one day he'd send it or they'd meet again and he could show her, but he knew that was asking too much.  
\--------  
Post reaper war

Kaidan was going through his omni-tool as he lounged on the couch in their apartment, cleaning out old messages to keep his inbox organized when he came across the one he wrote to Lily all those years ago, he chuckled "Hey honey, come here real quick." 

She had just returned from putting their daughter to sleep and made her way over to him and sat on his lap "What's up."

"I want to show you something." 

She peered at his omni-tool and her eyes widened and filled with tears as she read the message over. She clung to him and he closed his omni-tool as he held her "I meant it you know, when I said I'd always love you." He whispered as he kissed her head.

They stayed like that for a bit before she finally spoke up "Do you ever think about what would've happened if we did keep in contact?"

"Sometimes, but you know what?"

"What?"

"We're still together after all that, and I'd call that a happy ending. Wouldn't you?"

She smiled "I would."

He took her right hand and kissed it "I have you and Ashley, I'd say it worked out alright."

She kissed him and stroked his cheek "I love you Kaidan."

He smiled at her "I love you too, until the end of time."


End file.
